For those of you that know me, you know how much I admire the woman that is Michelle Obama. One of my favourite quotes from her book “Becoming”, that I feel is very apt for the message that I am looking to convey in this post is this: “Failure is a feeling long before it becomes an actual result. It’s vulnerability that breeds with self-doubt and then is escalated, often deliberately, by fear.”
Over the course of the year, I can imagine there have been many moments when the fear of failure (or actual failure) made you feel like you wanted to quit. Quitting or giving up seemed like the only way out. I can only speak for myself, but there have been moments that I have been scared or couldn’t see a way out; but one of the most important lessons I have learnt this year has been to keep it moving.
Life is a journey, filled with ups and downs. If you never go through the down/ tough moments you deny yourself the opportunity to realise how strong and resilient you are. Part of doing that means being comfortable with being uncomfortable, having confidence in your ability and the knowledge that you deserve to be where you are; such that when failure and bad days come (and they will come) you remind yourself of this – ‘I must get up and keep it moving’.
Do not believe the narrative that the world or your mind plays on you, that you don’t deserve to be where you are. You are special and you are unique. We all make mistakes and we all have trying times, but don’t let those moments define you or take away from who you are. Always remember it is okay to “not be okay” and you don’t always have to have it together.
Often times, the worst part of fear is feeling like there is no one to talk to, talk about it with or worse yet – feeling like you are in it alone. My goal in this first blog is to remind you that you are not alone. My hope is that you join me on this journey as we build a community that we feel comfortable to reach out to each other and embrace the vulnerability of having these conversations and helping each other through dialogue and support .
As we enter a new year, my hope is we embrace the challenge of getting up and keeping it moving; if not for ourselves alone then for our (future) daughters, sisters, mentees and the women to come after us. Let us show them what courage looks like, let us change the narrative and let us embrace the blessing that we are.
You should be proud of yourself because against all odds, you made it through – you became stronger and better, whether you realise it or not. Hold your head up high as you go into the new year because you are a Queen; on good days and bad days remember that the only way to get the best out of this journey is to - keep it moving!
Hope you enjoy the holiday season and wish all of you a very happy new year. Thank you for being part of the BWIF community!
Funlola - Founder of BWIF